The birthday card safety zone...
I noticed something funny when I was out looking for a birthday card for my brother Rick today. Well, actually the thing I noticed isn't funny, but that's the point and the fact that it's not funny is, in itself, funny. Generally, if the person you're buying a card for has made it through their mid 20s, birthday cards provide an easy opportunity to make fun of their age. Take, for example, the card I bought my brother for his 37th birthday: Something to the effect of being careful about laughing because one false move at that age and the bladder will give out. Ok ok yeah not so funny when you read it here, but if I could remember the words on the card it would be a lot better. Anyway that's not the point...
The point is, you can find a card making fun of someone's age whether they're turning 25 or 55. I mean, I don't really think Rick is old... I would have bought him the same card if he'd been turning 32, 28, whatever. And the fact is, if you get a card bugging you about your age, you're still within what I like to call the birthday card safety zone. Because there comes a time when you're so old that even birthday cards stop making fun of you. That's when you have to take a step back and say yeah, ok, now I'm old. Seriously. On the front of one card I saw, it said: "God has a special birthday message for you inside this card!" so I open the card and it says "See you soon!" Funny enough, sure, and you can give a card like that to someone who is in good health and turning 40, 50, 60, etc. But you just don't give it to someone who's turning 90 because by then the time for jokes has passed.
After making this initial observation, I decided to go through the cards with ages printed on them to try and determine when being old stops being funny. 60? Funny. 65? 70? Funny and still funny. 75? The magic number! No longer funny. 80, 85, 90, 95, 100.... not funny at all. If the selection in the store I was at is a reliable example of the standard birthday card selection, they stop making cards at 100, so if you make it past there, not only will you cease to get funny cards but you will also cease to get store printed cards with your age on them. It's either going to be generic or hand made. What kind of message does that send to someone who has lasted on this planet for more than a century? Certainly not a humorous one.
So the moral of the story is, if you're still getting cards that make fun of your age, you're within the safety zone. It's when things get serious that you need to watch out.
The point is, you can find a card making fun of someone's age whether they're turning 25 or 55. I mean, I don't really think Rick is old... I would have bought him the same card if he'd been turning 32, 28, whatever. And the fact is, if you get a card bugging you about your age, you're still within what I like to call the birthday card safety zone. Because there comes a time when you're so old that even birthday cards stop making fun of you. That's when you have to take a step back and say yeah, ok, now I'm old. Seriously. On the front of one card I saw, it said: "God has a special birthday message for you inside this card!" so I open the card and it says "See you soon!" Funny enough, sure, and you can give a card like that to someone who is in good health and turning 40, 50, 60, etc. But you just don't give it to someone who's turning 90 because by then the time for jokes has passed.
After making this initial observation, I decided to go through the cards with ages printed on them to try and determine when being old stops being funny. 60? Funny. 65? 70? Funny and still funny. 75? The magic number! No longer funny. 80, 85, 90, 95, 100.... not funny at all. If the selection in the store I was at is a reliable example of the standard birthday card selection, they stop making cards at 100, so if you make it past there, not only will you cease to get funny cards but you will also cease to get store printed cards with your age on them. It's either going to be generic or hand made. What kind of message does that send to someone who has lasted on this planet for more than a century? Certainly not a humorous one.
So the moral of the story is, if you're still getting cards that make fun of your age, you're within the safety zone. It's when things get serious that you need to watch out.
posted by Darren at
12:39 AM
2 Comments:
Hilarious!! Good observations. I hope others will read this and find it as humorous as I did!
Jean
I think you have way to much free time on your hands Darren..
However... I do see the humour in it.
Rod
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